September

I am in the midst of a windstorm of activity and emotion. The winds are warm , but furious and I feel it is all I can do to dig my heels in and hold my family close while the world transforms around us. It's at times like this that our values and trust in what is good keeps us strong in knowing that we will reappear after the storm - only stronger for having held firm whilst in its midst.

Lucas has begun preschool, Rob has begun his new job, my job starts next week at which time the kids will be watched by our parents Monday through Friday, childcare exchanges have begun, field hockey starts this week and swimming the next. Rob is now home for dinner, bath and bed, and packed lunches need to be found in the morning. Alarms ring at horribly early times and toddlers are wrestled into clothes before Max and Ruby videos have been thoroughly finished. There is never quite enough coffee in the pot.

I am doing everything possible to prepare us all for all this transition, but I feel that my head might explode with small details of it all. Spare clothes, labels, family photos to print, breast milk to pump and pump and pump, meals to shop for, organize and cook; to hell with the laundry.

It's funny but last night after I ran out after dinner and putting Mia to bed, went to a meeting for preschool and raced home again I had this surreal thought; I really AM a mother now. I suppose all these last three years I have sort of felt a bit like I was playing house. But good golly, that feeling has worn off and I have admitted defeat. I am Mom. I was looking around the meeting at the other Moms and thinking, Man these gals all look like Moms.. and then I thought shit, so do I. I had just arrived with food smushed into my clothes (the same ones I was in when I did duty at the preschool in the morning) and smelling like garlic and onions. Nothing wrong with it of course. As I said to Rob last week, I really am living a dream, to be a mom and sit on the floor getting grubby with sticky toddlers; it's all good! I suppose it is just the working mom part that I dread at this point. But I can always jump ship if it all feels too much.

On a side note, Rob and I celebrated our five year anniversary last weekend by going to Guu on Thurlow. If you are a fan of Japanese "bar" food and have a good sense of adventure as well as palate, I highly recommend it. We had a fantastic meal at very good prices.

I hope all your September starts are beginning well for each of you. xox Ting

Lucas and Mia heading out to a party in the bike trailer.