A bail-out, a bird, a birthday and a bump

First things first, for those not yet in the know, I finally decided that I had had enough of living the single working mom lifestyle and quit my job. What a relief. I have so much respect for those who can make it work, but I was a disaster at it. Enough said.

This was the first Thanksgiving in years that I have truly enjoyed. Last year I was so pregnant and tired that I just lay on the sofa having hardly been able to eat any turkey. But this year... I let out my belt and dug in. The kids are at an age now that they played well together and we all enjoyed the company and the food in relative peace. It was lovely to have Rob home with us for the weekend, but of course it passed all too fast. He arrived the Saturday of the long weekend, spent a whirlwind couple of days with us, and was gone on Wednesday morning. We will see him again in November for another couple of days and then he should be home again for good at the end of the month. I am now back to the kiddy-routine of playing, eating, bathing and sleeping; albeit on a budget!

Lucas' birthday was a blast. We celebrated with some friends here at the house and enjoyed a Cinemazoo presentation of all sorts of wild and wonderful creatures. Personally, I was amazed at how long the kids stayed still for and how frightened some of the adults were! Ah... childhood innocence and adult fears...

As for the bump, well, that came after a particularly joyful stand and clap on Mia's part. In her highchair, that is. She tumbled out backwards and had a good fall. (Lucas really doesn't get it when I say that.. who made up that expression anyways?!) She suffered a bad concussion and had to be taken to Children's Hospital where we spent a good part of our night under observation. (Her for trauma, I'm fairly sure me for negligence.) After a frightening week of doctor and a repeat emergency room visit, we are fairly confident that she escaped this one unscathed. I am now so much more aware of the little safety details that are so easy to become relaxed with. I am also so very thankful for having a support network of friends of family to help me out. Being alone when things like this happen... not good. Especially when there is another child to be looked after as well. :(

So we are in recovery here. Readjusting schedules and getting ourselves into a better groove with less stress. (Hopefully.)

PS. I'm so sorry about the sideways pictures... another new program that I thought I had figured out... thought.

noisy new steps

soooo cute...

Good ones

September

I am in the midst of a windstorm of activity and emotion. The winds are warm , but furious and I feel it is all I can do to dig my heels in and hold my family close while the world transforms around us. It's at times like this that our values and trust in what is good keeps us strong in knowing that we will reappear after the storm - only stronger for having held firm whilst in its midst.

Lucas has begun preschool, Rob has begun his new job, my job starts next week at which time the kids will be watched by our parents Monday through Friday, childcare exchanges have begun, field hockey starts this week and swimming the next. Rob is now home for dinner, bath and bed, and packed lunches need to be found in the morning. Alarms ring at horribly early times and toddlers are wrestled into clothes before Max and Ruby videos have been thoroughly finished. There is never quite enough coffee in the pot.

I am doing everything possible to prepare us all for all this transition, but I feel that my head might explode with small details of it all. Spare clothes, labels, family photos to print, breast milk to pump and pump and pump, meals to shop for, organize and cook; to hell with the laundry.

It's funny but last night after I ran out after dinner and putting Mia to bed, went to a meeting for preschool and raced home again I had this surreal thought; I really AM a mother now. I suppose all these last three years I have sort of felt a bit like I was playing house. But good golly, that feeling has worn off and I have admitted defeat. I am Mom. I was looking around the meeting at the other Moms and thinking, Man these gals all look like Moms.. and then I thought shit, so do I. I had just arrived with food smushed into my clothes (the same ones I was in when I did duty at the preschool in the morning) and smelling like garlic and onions. Nothing wrong with it of course. As I said to Rob last week, I really am living a dream, to be a mom and sit on the floor getting grubby with sticky toddlers; it's all good! I suppose it is just the working mom part that I dread at this point. But I can always jump ship if it all feels too much.

On a side note, Rob and I celebrated our five year anniversary last weekend by going to Guu on Thurlow. If you are a fan of Japanese "bar" food and have a good sense of adventure as well as palate, I highly recommend it. We had a fantastic meal at very good prices.

I hope all your September starts are beginning well for each of you. xox Ting

Lucas and Mia heading out to a party in the bike trailer.

What's happening around here...

Lucas is now drawing cars, buses and trains. We think they are fabulous!

So we now have a new computer in the form of a new hard drive. Finally. Although I am pleased that we can finally rely on a computer once again, I was a bit flabbergasted at the way it happened. Over the last few months I have logged probably close to twenty hours on the phone trying to get this thing fixed; to no avail. Then Rob got uber annoyed, and since I was on holiday, took over the phoning duty for the week. One phone call, and just like that Dell is sending us a new computer. Timing? I'd like to think so.

We have been really enjoying Rob's evening shifts by getting the most out of our days, but alas it is coming to an end in just a few short weeks. This is all for the good however, since Rob has just given notice at Cincin after signing a contract to work as the Loden Hotel's Restaurant Manager. This is a fantastic new position for Rob as he will have the opportunity to help this Kor group hotel open their food and beverage program from ground up. Buying a cellar of wine you say... a dream job. Very exciting.

I am still wavering about work for September. None of my master plans have panned out for me yet, although I have a had a couple of offers. I'm pretty torn about the prospect of leaving the kids to work. There are days I would absolutely love to get out and at it again, but my heart is here right now, I must admit. And with two clever and loving children I think that makes sense, don't you?!

When the SHAW guy came to rewire our cable, he found Lucas and I wearing our new space man hats. Hopefully they didn't interfere with the reception...

We decided to change Lucas' preschool for September after getting a position in a parent participation preschool. We are pretty darn excited about being able to be part of this new stage in Lucas' life by spending days in the classroom and taking on tasks. Mia and I are also looking forward to a little peace and quiet..hahaha...

In reality, Mia is becoming the furthest thing from quiet and Rob and I are beginning to question what wild genes we are passing down. Mia has mastered the art of singing, babbling, and best of all the tell tale shriek that means "Mommy, Daddy Lucas is (fill in the blank)" She loves nothing better than wrestling with Lucas (really) and teasing him endlessly by stealing whatever he is playing with. She happily digs in the dirt, and has eaten way too much sand at the park. We have given up on baby toys entirely. She has taken after Lucas in skilled crawling and loves climbing into the fridge if she catches it open. I have caught her at the top of our Ikea kitchen stool, up flights of stairs in the laundry room and on top of slumbering dogs. She is communicating clearly her need for arms, sleep and food. And boy, can she put that back. She out-eats Lucas 4 out of five meals. No joke.

Lucas is the fastest things on wheels these days, and we have been amazed at his bike riding skills. These pictures are from a sunny Saturday in the UBC endowment lands. That kid rode (with a little pushing) for two hours! We were all pooped at the end!

congratulations!

Congratulations to Juan, Lydia and Matias on the arrival of their daughter and little sister Taya Jane. This is not much of a picture, but she is cute as a button!

Pics from our Vernon Adventures

Mom and Auntie Pat caught eating.

Lucas feeds a goat at the farm we visited.

Miss Mia sports her new bathing suit.

Happy baby, happy Abuelita

Quails Gate Winery - Westbank

Uncle Bill, Auntie Pat and Deb

Lucas drives a tractor.

Life jacket mandatory... but where's Mia?

Lunch at Qual's Gate
How come Mia got to come on our date?

Heritage Beet salad - sideways

Can you see three black and white pups?

Daddy and Lucas out for a chilly turtle float.

Unbelievable

Time is absolutely speeding past me. Even though I know that I haven't been on here in a while, I somehow can't imagine how it always happens. I suppose what has helped the most is that our stinking computer has now been in a coma-like state with small remissions for almost two months. I have spent more hours than I care to think about on calls to Dell's customer support line getting things "fixed." Yet nothing changes. I have now reinstalled everything there is to un and re install on the computer several times over. I believe I may be earning frequent flyer miles in my calls that get routed through to Delhi. Yesterday found me in near tears at the local Fraser street cyber-cafe while I downloaded drivers for my computer while speaking to Dell in India on my cell phone, underneath a large sign which read "no calls inside" all the while being glared at by the owner of the cafe. I think in hindsight I would have been better off handing the phone over to him followed by my Visa, because I could not, perhaps out of sheer frustration, understand what the lady was saying on the phone. Ergh. I think they have my account marked as difiicult customer now because I had a call back late last night to see if I was ok. Not my computer... me. I somehow hope that something was simply lost in translation!

Therefore I am seriously sleep and internet deprived. Mia and Lucas' sleep patterns have been thrown, I'm guessing by the weather change as well as Mia's new teeth and skills, and my kids now do not go to sleep for me. At least not early or easily enough. I have found myself in the very difficult position of two light sleepers, one bedroom and severe mommy-itis on a nightly basis. I switch between holding Mia while Lucas cries in his bed to holding Lucas while Mia cries until one child eventually falls asleep. I fear I am spinning out of my normal orderly control, but have decided to see how things play out over the summer and all its disruptions and then start settling back into something of a routine when Lucas starts preschool in September. I think I can hear a few parents laughing at me under their breath even as I write... I knew I was biting myself in the butt all those times I spoke proudly of how I always got both the kids down by seven...

Speaking of making mistakes, we had Lucas shouting "Oh FUCK" gleefully about twenty times this afternoon as Rob and I tried our damndest to stop laughing. Unsuccesfully I might add. Rob now realizes that two-year-olds have very good hearing and reproduction of phrases muttered under one's breath. Poor Rob, it's been a shocking parenting week for him. Yesterday when I left the table at a restaurant for the washroom, Lucas questioned his dad, in a a very audible voice, if I was going to pee out of my vagina. I would have liked to have been a fly on the wall to see the look on Rob's face.

We certainly have been having heaps of fun since I finished my contract teaching. We have been holidaying in town; hanging out at the pools, parks and other numerous kid spots. What a blast. It feels good to finally have some down time as a family and be able to do things at this slower pace. Rob is lacking for sleep of course, as he leaves for the late shift and often doesn't get to bed until after two in the morning... but we make the coffee and let him sleep in a little! He also has the enviable trait of being able to sleep anywhere anytime. I am always amazed at how he can pass from awake into snoring in a matter of seconds.

The kids are growing fast. Mia is saying "mama" and well... you already know what Lucas is saying! The baseboards of the house are still not finished, but really, who cares for now, right?! With all this rain the grass looks good and really that is foremost in our minds...hahaha! I am searching pretty aggressively for work for September, but have had no luck so far. I have faith that something will come, but it is pretty hard to not know where or when I will be working.

Well, if you don't hear from me here again for a while you can assume it's the computer or the kids still won't sleep!!! But you can always email or... gasp... pick up the phone!

xox Ting

Oh the drama...

It's an all-out disaster. You may have seen on the news that quite a lot of Thomas the Tank Engine pieces have been recalled due to the high lead content in the paint. Mia likes chewing on train pieces... I guess they have to go back. The big problem is that the trains are Lucas' favorite toy and the red ones (of which all of ours have been recalled) are his absolute favorite. Usually everyone else plays the other colours and Lucas drives the track with his red six-train-long wonder (including the musical caboose). How do I explain to him that his trains arer taking a long, long trip, from which they will return, but perhaps not before the train phase passes??? Do I send them on, as I responsibly should? Or train Lucas to keep them away from Mia? (Yeah right - that kid has figured out crawling like a true champ and nothing will stop her now...)

No Pics Again

My computer decided to permanently lapse into hibernation and not do ANYTHING again, so I had Dell clear and then reload the operating system. This means that all my data is now saved onto a disk (phew) but my programs all have to be reloaded. Heaven only knows where the disk is that connects my camera to my computer for uploading...

On that note, how in the world do the rest of you store your thousands of photos? Is there something I just don't know beside the fact that I never remember to burn them to disk? Apparently I had a lot.

It is frightening that a barely two-year-old computer could bite the dust like that, but I'm inclined to think it had something to do with the modem installation hardware that I had to use to get crappy internet service (paid for but never saw wireless) in Zihuatanejo. I am scared of the day that this three year service warranty runs out. I'm sure my laptop will spontaneously combust the day after, so I am forced to buy a new one.

Speaking of old, we were sad to say goodbye to Negrita this last week. (Our old Pathfinder, don't worry.) Although we are pretty happy with the arrival of Plata, I have to admit that I will somewhat miss her. We shared so many memories, especially of stinkin' hot trips around town in Mexico with too many people crammed in, sand in our suits and beer breath. Amazing to think that a '95 Pathfinder with more problems that you could shake a stick at made it there and back really.

While we're on the topic of old, let me tell you how much Lucas loves the good old classics by Richard Scarry. There is nothing like the joy on a child's face as they discover pickle cars and Goldbug. I bought him a new Richard Scarry for our trip to Whistler and Rob has been in stitches because Lucas' favorite story is Building a New Road, which must contain the word "asphalt" over a dozen times. Now, there is nothing wrong with the word asphalt, in theory, except that Lucas cannot pronounce it. Therefore we read, nightly, a long and complicated story about " ass-fart." A hot and sticky ass-fart story, to be exact!

I got some great shots on our last sojourn to Whistler, which I'll post when I get myself organized again. This is my last week at my teaching job, so I should have a bit more free time for those sort of chores that cannot get done while children are awake.

April/May photos

Lucas loves bugs; wormy-worms being his favorite, closely followed by snails (see fuzzy photo above) and woodbugs. Rob bought Lucas an ant-farm (because the swarms in our kitchen we can't seem to get rid of aren't enough?) found out you had to send away for the ants, caught some of our home-bred variety instead, over-fed them (yes, it's only one goldfish cracker to us, but it is eight years of food to the ants), over-watered them, and killed them. Now we have an ant morgue wherein one can view the dead and dying ants in their desperate fight for survival. Educational. (I've obviously watched A Bug's Life too many times.)

Mia is learning to crawl with all her might in an attempt at getting at any of Lucas' toys so that she can... wait for it... chew on them, vomit, and move on, all to the frustrated screams of Lucas. He has learned to push a soft toy into her face whenever she approaches. Smart.

We are also learning to eat. Yes, all of us really. For Mia it is rice cereal and mushy unidentifiable fruit and veg, for Lucas it is the constant reminding that forks have a purpose, for me it is to simply try to eat between table-service for Lucas and dodging rasberried peas, for Rob... actually he does a pretty good job when he's home :P

Chola is getting so old. This photo saddens me and makes me want to be more patient with her whining for help to get in the house, wanting to get out of the house, barking because she can't find me, barking because she finally saw me, barking because she wants to go to the park, getting lost at the park and wandering in circles while elementary school children sound the alarm that there is a lost dog at the field, drinking copious amounts of water and peeing on the carpet, and well... I'll try, I really do love her dearly!

I want this. Badly. To sleep like a child with no care in the world. Knowing that when I wake someone will come running with open arms and love me and hold me and feed me, then tuck me back in for more sleep. It would mean no cleaning the kitchen or folding laundry, I'm fairly sure.

Cake is good. Especially when it's made together with my pal and co-cake-conspirator Lucas.

a world of light and dark

Chaos has seeped in through the cracks of the house and permeated the walls with Daddy don't go to work and Mommy stay with me. Schedules have collided bringing routine and order to a grinding halt amidst cries of now what am I going to do. Guilt has bitten away at the edges of steely reserves of patience to emerge only as sugar laden treats and weak promises. Sleep as once known to parent-kind has slipped through aching hands dry from repetive washing after toileting and excema cream slathering. Dreams are sprinkled with daily concerns and ring truer than one can admit when woken by the reality of hungry or lonely lungs. Hunger is satiated by sleep and fatigue by food and drink.

Sunshine fills my garden with light and vibrating energy humming to the sound of birds' chirps and bee's buzzes. Buds stretch lazily out of dry soil despite frequent bulldozing by irresponsible Tonka drivers and padded paws. Wind winds around overflowing baskets of lavish colour filling the eye with life and renewal. The hose hums a playful squeal as it works its quenching magic on the grateful greens who turn their tender bodies in search of more of all that is good. Ants march to the tune of their own calling without care for posted warnings to not enter the house. Worms accept their fate of the watery grave of a boy's bucket or the burning abyss of a digger's scoop. Wood bugs scatter at the sound of mulch being roughly thrown aside.

This is life; filled with light and dark existing together as naturally as they were put here on this earth to mark our days.

Getting Older

I've had a defeating and tiring week.

First, I turned another year older. Gulp. Although this came with three birthday cakes, birthdays sure aren't what they used to be. It was just another day that both started and ended too early. Even Lucas's birthday card for me (written by Daddy) showed signs of fatique (Daddy's) as it read " Happy Birthay Mommy." We are all over-tired in this house!

Lucas asked me if my teeth were yellow. Time to look into whitening kits or dental solutions I think. This was actually phrased as, "Your teeth are yellow Mommy?"

My brother can't stop bothering me about my white hair. (Subtle encouragement for self-improvement?)

Our home computer has crashed and we must now seek a way to get all of the unsaved information and photos off of it before we reinstall its operating system. Yes, I know I should have been backing up. I know. I know.

We had to spend $200 for ten minutes of a man's time to fumigate an ant hill in the door frame of our house. We are considering investing in a fumigation business.

I still haven't sent in my tax return and am driving with an expired license. (Must I dye my hair and whiten my teeth before this picture?!)

Pillo insists on pooping on top of my newly planted dahlias and Lucas insists on peeing on them.

So why do I feel defeated and tired?

The answer to it all; just because. Or at least that's what Lucas told me tonight when I couldn't come up with an answer to the fifth "why?" in a row. "Just because Mommy?"

Yes Lucas. Just because.

My Monthly Post...

Last night my moral compass Anne once again chastised me for not having posted recently. I didn't think it was so bad considering how many people I know who don't blog or post photos... but hey... there's nothing quite like a giant kick in the rear to get me moving! So here I am on a gorgeous Saturday night, sitting at my computer!

Last night, however, saw me out on the town with the girls. I never would have thought that I would be able to relinquish Mia at five months and go out without checking my phone, but I did it! (And it really wasn't that hard... teehee...) She has been such a great baby and Rob has gotten very good at fathering, so I am now finding that I have a bit more freedom than I did at this stage with Lucas. This week saw Mia taking a bottle of pumped milk accompanied by audible sighs of relief from Rob and I. We are daring to dream that we may actually be able to get out for an evening without the kids one of these days!

I had a lovely time with the crew. It was a great turn out and everyone was in fine spirits. Molly organized us into going to Sanafir for dinner; a great choice indeed.

(Molly, Anne, Julia, me and the bf girls, Lindsay, Val, Liz, Lesley and Anna - April 27th)
Sorry this photo is a little fuzzy - and apologies to Liz. It was either half of Anna or the top of Liz's head! Rob and I had a great getaway to Whistler with the kids. We are very happy with the Intrawest up there and agreed that we foresee using it a lot as the kids grow. Although boarding was out of the question, we ate well and laughed hard for a few work and laundry-free days. Lucas loved our stop at Shannon falls but was terribly disappointed that we didn't see any trains. Upon our return we finally saw one, but couldn't bear to wake him from a much-needed nap. Murphy's law hit, of course, and he woke up minutes after it had passed! We are looking forward to heading back for a longer stay at the end of May.



Rob and Lucas went to COWS while I perused Please Mum with Mia. (Note; blue bubblegum ice cream creates large dry cleaning bills when paired with hockey jerseys...)

We had a short but great visit with my cousin Paul this last week as well. It was really nice to see him and our friend David for a few laughs. Times sure have changed though; I found our kid-centred visit to be a far cry from the late night drinking and card playing binges of old. I didn't miss the morning headache but I did feel a bit melancholy about missing out on the evening revelry.

I love this photo. Lucas eats olives faster than I can get them into any recipe, but the other day I turned around and found him making olive body art. Priceless. (Yes, yes, I know Teddy needs a bath...)

Easter was a hoot. Lucas keeps asking when the Easter bunny is coming back because he was so spoiled. Mom did a very creative egg hunt for the boys that had them collecting eggs filled with raisin boxes, mini cheeses, and toonies. It was great to see the excitement with which each egg discovery was greeted.

Mia is so active now,. She is doing the great wiggle on the floor; can turn a full 360 degrees, scooch backwards, and do some sort of strange rendition of the worm, all accompanied to her very own pterodactyl soundtrack. She certainly has figured out that she gets attention for these antics. It can even shake the grumpies out of Lucas and make him crack a smile.

Mia is also hankering for food in a big way and has mastered the quick grab wherein she sweetly smiles up at you calmly and then screams her prehistoric cry whilst swooping her hand into whatever food is closest in an attempted kidnapping. Today she caught herself a rotini but alas it slipped before she could even attempt the recoil into her waiting mouth. I fret a little about her being terribly disappointed when she learns that her first food will be mushy cereal...

I'm considering building a dog shit composter in the backyard. I just can't believe how much those hounds produce. So that will be my google research for the evening. It really is just an excuse not to finish marking my FCE papers, but whatever works, right?!

So Many News...

It seems that I am constantly blogging in my head these days. I will be bathing a child, lying in bed or riding a bus and all of a sudden I am hit with the urge to write here. Of course I am never able to reach the computer in time and therefore the writing gets put off for yet another day. I really only get the evening now to spend a bit of time child-less and I'm usually so drained that I stare blankly at the screen for a while and then admit that I need sleep quite badly.

I have surprised a few people by taking a job. I am teaching an advanced writing class in the afternoons for a ESL college downtown. It is just two hours a day from Monday through Friday, but I am finding that combined with the travel time, it is taking a considerable chunk of time away from my week. Last week went more smoothly than I could have imagined, but I left in tears today because Lucas was in hysterics at my departure. Most days it shouldn't be so hard as Rob will be here to watch the kids, but today was more difficult. Rob was to have finished his contract with Intrawest by now, but it seems that they still need him for a little longer. To add to this, the restaurant seems to also need him terribly and is scheduling him in for doubles far too much for my liking. So the wee ones are seeing a bit more of their grandparents than I had planned, and I believe the transition is a little fast for Lucas who is so used to having me around. Funnily enough, it was Mia who I was most worried about, but she seems to be fairing very well. Now if we could just get her to take a bottle Rob and I could almost imagine a night out in the future!

More "news" is that we finally got our much-anticipated new fireplace just in time for Spring to hit. We still find ourselves sitting in front of it soaking up its lovely glow, but I imagine its true potential will shine much more brightly in the fall! We also got our Shaw digital phone installed. I must admit I feel very smug at having managed to avoid any need to do business with Telus again. (Exactly what Shaw was hoping for, I'm sure!) Lucas' "new" is his obsession of all things Thomas. It arose out of a fairly mild case of train-love, but has now reared its ugly head into a full-blown Thomas the Tank Engine craze. I have been requested to sing the theme song as a bedtime lullaby for two weeks running now. Could any poor soul with knowledge of more lyrics than the first two lines please email me and save me from improvisational shame? I'm really too tired to be researching it...

I leave you then with all our news. Have a great, great week!